One of the most challenging things in life is building a strong relationship with your partner, as emotions, stress, and daily disagreements can lead to conflicts. For this reason, it’s crucial to treat your partner with respect and gratitude, particularly when there is disagreement. Psychologists say the most successful couples consistently show love, compassion, and regret. According to researchers, these five phrases are most frequently used by couples that have a deep bond.
The 5 phrases that reveal whether your relationship is strong
You have my forgiveness. Would you pardon me?
In the midst of or after a heated fight, it can be challenging to show forgiveness. “Just do it,” Warren advises. Couples who practice forgiveness are more likely to have longer, more fulfilling relationships, according to studies, she says.
Help me understand this
According to Harvard psychologist Cortney Warren, successful couples simply learn to manage disagreement rather than avoid it. We frequently think we understand our partner, but they may be saying something very different or more complex. Warren also highlights that the secret to resolving disagreement and developing a deeper bond with your spouse is to express your want to learn more about them if they respond to a scenario in a way that you don’t understand.
Thank you
To determine what makes love last, psychologists John and Julie Gottman have examined almost 40,000 couples. They claim that “thank you” is the one word that all happy couples use frequently. Moreover, he argues that an enthusiastic culture of appreciation is necessary for a successful relationship, where we are equally adept at recognizing our partners’ positive actions as we are at identifying their negative ones. They claim that this is particularly true for insignificant, routine actions.
Lastly, remember to express your gratitude for preparing the coffee each morning and explain why that seemingly insignificant detail matters to you. These psychologists also enjoy waking up to the sounds of you in the kitchen and the scent of it, as it simply helps me get my day off to a good start.
I am committed to you
According to Warren, being in a relationship is a decision. A sense of security and stability can be established by reassuring your partner that you still choose to remain with them and resolve problems together. Although it may seem apparent, sharing your vow with your partner might make you both feel validated.
I like you
Cortney Warren claims that the healthiest couples like one another as much as they love one another. To like someone is to recognize their qualities and accept them for who they are; to love someone is to have a deep sense of fondness. It is also important to note that people should remind their partners that they like them, even if they are not fighting.
This is the best relationship advice someone could get
Don’t ever go to bed upset. Every time a curious journalist asks an older, long-married couple what their one piece of advice is for maintaining a long-lasting relationship, you’ll hear the same tip repeatedly. As a sex and relationship psychotherapist, I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is crap. I don’t mean to offend these relationship veterans. On the surface, this straightforward saying seems to have a lot of charm. It essentially conveys the message that disputes should be settled promptly to avoid disrupting our valuable sleep.
This would be a terrific piece of advice if we lived in a world without multi-layered relational conflict, complex human emotions, and nervous system reactions. Simply put, get over the disagreement, forget about it, and go to bed, where you should fall asleep soundly. You can go on after resolving the conflict this way. Simple fixes just aren’t feasible because human relationships—particularly romantic and sexual ones—are not that straightforward.
Sure, it’s adorable, and most of the time, the intentions are genuine, but in reality, it sets us up for failure. Humans require time to handle difficult emotions and work through conflict individually and as a team. Focusing on peace for a good night’s sleep can lead to resentment when we are emotionally activated during a conflict.
