Mental health has become a daily conversation. An essential conversation to understand the generation we live in. That’s why more and more psychologists are turning to social media to try to reach as many people as possible. For this reason, many videos in which specialists recommend certain practices have gone viral. One example is one that discusses certain confessions we shouldn’t tell anyone to avoid unfulfilling them, such as future plans, failures, or fears.
Talking a lot about our future plans creates a kind of illusion that lingers in our minds
Some experts, like Derek Sivers, say that talking about our goals and personal objectives can erode the motivation that drives us to achieve them. All of this is directly related to the way our brains work. Sivers believes that talking a lot about our future plans creates a kind of illusion that lingers in our minds and can give us a feeling of having created that goal, even if it hasn’t been achieved yet. This can be confusing.
In any case, there are six specific things that experts recommend not telling people, not discussing them beyond what’s necessary. This list is discussed by psychologist specializing in child and adolescent mental health @silviaseverinopsico, as she is known on TikTok.
Outside opinions can sabotage our plans, so the advice is to work in silence
First, future plans. And this is actually related to envy. Sometimes, sharing our plans can expose our ideas to others misusing them as their own or demotivating us. Outside opinions can sabotage our plans, so the advice is to work in silence and speak up when the results are already visible.
Another topic we shouldn’t talk about with everyone is our weaknesses. Even if you feel you can trust someone, that situation may change. And perhaps a weakness you once shared in a trusted environment may end up becoming a weapon used against you. For this reason, if it involves trauma, insecurities, or professional fears, it’s best to discuss them with an expert, a psychologist.
Psychologist advises not to talk about failures: “many don’t see you as someone who tried, but as someone who failed”
Failures. Human beings are a collection of successes and failures. Whenever we take a risk, we run the risk of failing. They probably become experiences from which we can learn, but from the outside, they’re still a failure. The psychologist, in this case, advises not to talk about failures because “many don’t see you as someone who tried, but as someone who failed.”
Related to everything we’re talking about, the psychologist advises not talking about our next big step. Regardless of whether it’s a professional or personal move, it’s best to act quietly. Letting the results speak for themselves is the best plan. Premature criticism, other people’s expectations, the fears of others, or envy can affect and interfere with our plans.
Sharing our deepest thoughts can become tools to judge us
Then there are personal secrets. Even with close friends, the expert advises against sharing every aspect of our lives. And it’s not about hiding or lying, but rather knowing how to separate what should be strictly personal from what can be in the “public domain.” Sharing our deepest thoughts can become tools to judge, control, and even manipulate us.
Finally, there’s one of the most taboo or most talked-about topics. There’s no middle ground here. How much we earn or how we earn it—that is, our salary and how we get it. It’s simply a matter of preventing figures from influencing the way others relate to us. But of course, it’s true that variables come together here, as many people believe that openly discussing salaries can bring to light certain salary inequalities that could arise for non-professional reasons, so it can be helpful for those affected. In any case, this is a topic of wide debate.
