The 21st century is a time of constant change. Especially over the last 10 years, when changes are no longer even gradual, but constant, daily. One of the most emphasized discourses lately is saying NO. Setting boundaries and not doing anything that makes us uncomfortable. Psychiatrist José Carbonell says, “Learning to say no, even if it might affect your self-esteem because you have a person who no longer gives you enough affection or loves you.”
Many psychologists and psychiatrists use social media to share their knowledge with the public
Keeping up with the pace of life is complicated, and psychologists say this is affecting the way we perceive emotions. Many psychologists and psychiatrists use social media to share their knowledge with the public. Aware that not everyone can afford sessions with a psychologist, experts use TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube to offer advice on certain everyday topics.
One of these everyday issues is how we relate to the outside world, to other people. This is the area Carbonell focuses on: the fine line between being a good person and not letting others take advantage of your good faith. What we need to be clear about, according to Carbonell, is that the most important thing to be a good person is to be good to yourself. “And you have to be able to prioritize giving yourself at least as much as you give to others,” the psychiatrist assures.
Many people go to the experts struggling to say no when someone proposes something
Saying “no” can be very difficult for many people. In a society of collective acceptance and fitting in, many people get carried away and end up doing things they don’t really feel comfortable with. According to the Madrid Psychology Center, many people come to their office struggling to say no when someone proposes something or asks for help. They know they don’t want to do it, but they’re unable to say no.
For experts, it’s extremely important to work on assertiveness to avoid the discomfort of saying no when you meant it. “Assertiveness allows us to express our feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and ideas sincerely and accurately, so that the other person doesn’t feel uncomfortable or attacked.”
According to studies, women are much more prone to falling into this trap
This condition is particularly limiting for women. According to several experts, this is because throughout life, there are many situations in which people end up giving much more than they want, can, or are willing to give. And women are much more prone to falling into this trap. According to psychologists, this isn’t something chosen or desired, it’s something done on purpose, but because from a very young age, women have been raised to please and be pleasing.
Prioritizing your own needs and desires, thinking before you speak, being polite even when you say no
According to Carbonell, “You have to be good, but above all, you have to protect yourself and also learn to say no and set limits out of self-respect.” Many experts on the mind and emotions place particular emphasis on the latter. In the world of appearances, social media, and constant comparisons, working on self-respect is essential for a more peaceful life.
There are some recommendations that experts offer. They include prioritizing your own needs and desires, thinking before you speak, being polite even when you say no, suggesting an alternative, and, most importantly, being firm in your decisions. If you disagree or don’t feel that doing a certain activity will fulfill you, or that you may be doing it just to please, it’s best to say no.
